Why don't others speak up?
If I experience an injustice and others who know of my situation remain silent, what am I to think? A confident person would think the others are a bunch of assholes. A person with no confidence would be certain they don’t deserve equal treatment. But there are other modes of thinking. I have seen some people use anonymous public or private attacks to get quick attention and meaningful action. And the effectiveness of this strategy means the temptation is real. But not everyone has a moral compass that permits that work around.
And if you are a lawyer, it can be hard to justify working outside the normal process of seeking a just result. If I do that, I concede our normal process is broken. I person who wants to believe that our institutions of decision-making can be just may want to give it a shot. Or they may decide the time and money are not worth it, and intentionally put their energy into projects and adventures that may be far more rewarding. I have many times wished I would have thought more seriously about being that person.
A ridiculously hopeful person who is wired for positivity will try over and over again to get to the just result through the process. This optimist will try to get others to see. Maybe if they would stop for a moment and think, they will do the right thing . . . If that sounds like you, we need to talk. I need to tell you all about the pain and disappointment you are about to confront. I tried and tried, and when I could not think of anything else to try, I spent thousands of dollars on coaches and therapy and a great lawyer. I don’t understand why these people who say they believe in equality can’t actually do something in the face of actual inequality. What am I missing? Is it me? Is it this place? This community? What am I not seeing?
Perhaps the most comforting response of all came from my lawyer. He said, “it is always like this when people call me. If the culture were not dysfunctional, someone would have fixed this long ago, or others would have joined you in demanding it be fixed until it was.” When a system is so broken that people know that saying something will result in no action at all— or certain retaliation—they become too disillusioned and detached to try.”
That makes sense, right? If most people are lucky enough to not be wired for unrelenting hopefulness and positivity, they know speaking up is pointless and self-destructive. So they remain silent and wait to see what happens when you speak.
I am still hoping that I will either be given a fair explanation for the unequal treatment or a settlement offer. I am scheduled to find out later this week. What do you think will happen?